Just Another 24 Hours

A team of Australian scientists claim that a residential area in the Australian state of New South Wales will be the site of a major international event should the US Administration fail to shoot down a malfunctioning spy satellite circling the Earth.

An team of independent researchers led by Arthur Loaf claim to have worked out the exact landing spot of the USA-193 satellite, should it be allowed to fall to earth in an uncontrolled descent. The satellite is known as NRO launch 21, NROL-21 and L-21.

The satellite, which is the size of a school bus and is loaded with toxic fuel, has been out of ground communication since its launch more than twelve months ago. Last week President Bush released details of a Pentagon plan to shoot the satellite down using ship-fired anti-ballistic or ASAT missiles.

Loaf’s Sydney based team of amateur astronomists claim to have calculated the trajectory of the satelitte, which is expected to re-enter the Earth’s atmosphere on March 6th. They believe that the crash landing spot is Wiseman Park, a residential greenland area in Wollongong, a town in the Illawarra region of New South Wales, Australia.

“We’ve used the latest in clear plastic protractor technology to calculate the exact trajectory of this troublesome satellite,” said Loaf, who claims to be a relative of the English Astronomer Patrick Moore. “The force of gravity is inevitable and while it is impossible to know what this satellite is thinking we know how it will act once it begins its decent to Earth. We implore the US administration to act immediately to prevent what could be a tragic incident in Wollongong’s otherwise uneventful history.”

The US administration has been accused of ulterior motives, namely the opportunity to test its controversial missile defence system. Defence commentators have accused the US of wanting to ensure that classified information is kept out of the hands of the people of Wollongong.

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